Are you bored, but yearning to feel really bored? If so, this is the perfect page for you.

There are 0 images on this page. Nothing it says will matter to you at all. I wrote it only because I needed a break from admiring my own reflection in the mirror.

Don't let this golden opportunity pass you by! Read on to be very bored.

I've been developing software since elementary school. A couple of shining specimens from that time were a trivia game that played a success animation of falling smiley faces and a personal alarm clock that lived in the system tray and alerted ahead of programmed events (we didn't have Google Calendar back then (or Google anything, for that matter)). Those were made in Visual Basic 6. I also made a simple console-based choose-your-own-adventure game in C++, and a bunch of other stuff.

In my junior high years, I experimented with Flash and a variety of other platforms, but my biggest projects were with the then-cutting-edge PHP 3 and MySQL, developing custom content management systems after cutting my teeth on the Perl-based NewsPro. These were mostly used for fan-run video game news outlets, which I wrote for throughout my teenage years.

I also wrote a job board system for a local charity, which eventually grew to support chapters in several states.

Preferring coding and writing to homework, I dropped out of high school to take a full-time job at a web development firm, and the rest is history.

Fast-forward 15 years to present day. As an entrepreneur, I've started two successful companies. One, a SaaS app that helped thousands of Walt Disney World travelers and travel agents successfully manage their vacations. Most activity on this wound down when Disney threatened to sue us, along with everyone else in the sector. Two, a technology consulting firm that designed, wrote, and deployed systems to solve the toughest problems for a diverse group of companies, including venture-backed startups and multi-national corporations.

I currently work remotely for an educational video game company. We host more than 500,000 players in an interactive real-time world every day. I have key responsibilities in security, uptime, deployment/devops, and other areas of system architecture, and regularly contribute to software throughout our stack to facilitate these ends (using Haxe, Java, Ruby, Node.js, Python, and bash, among others).

My wife Molly and I live a few miles away from the Magic Kingdom with our 5.5 children. It's normal.




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sneaky image

OK, I snuck a not-boring image in here as a reward for making it to the end. But don't tell anyone. (image source)